Our sixteen-year-old son, Stephen, is learning how to drive. Yes, that’s hyperventilation you’re hearing. He’s doing a great job – far more calm and confident behind the wheel than I was at that age.
Lane changes are his weakness. Like all new drivers, he has a tendency to turn his body when he looks back over his shoulder, and like all new drivers, he has to learn to compensate – or we’ll all die a horrible fiery death! Breathe in, breathe out.
This past week I joined Facebook (see link to the side). Scrolling through photos of people I went to school with brought mixed feelings. When I saw some faces, I made that shrieky sound my teenage daughter makes when she sees her best friend. Other faces brought painful memories of being ignored or teased. Others brought shameful memories of sins I committed.
Looking back can be beneficial. Some memories should be cherished and enjoyed. Others remind us of how we’ve grown, or of lessons learned the hard way. However, we must turn only our heads, and only briefly. When we turn our whole selves and face backwards, we risk being lost in wistful nostalgia for better days, in soul-destroying bitterness, or in paralyzing shame.
Look back, but keep moving forward. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” Philippians 3:13-14
They say never to pray for patience or the Lord will give you trials to build your patience.
Well, I prayed for humility, and the Lord gave me a teenage daughter.
My lovely daughter, Anna, has the insight and wisdom of thirteen long years. If it weren’t for her, I’d never have known the correct way to carry a water bottle. Did you know there was a wrong way? Tragically, I did not.
Once when Anna left her water bottle on the parents’ side of the soccer field, I decided to bring it to her before the game started. I circled the field, savoring the crisp fall day. With each step I took, Anna’s jaw dropped lower and lower.
“Mom,” she cried. “How could you?”
“How could I what? I brought your water bottle.”
“That’s not how you carry a water bottle.”
The neck of the bottle hung between my fingers. Looked good to me.
Anna took it from my hand before I could do further damage. “You were swinging it.”
There you have it. Just when I thought I was still young and hip.
Anna rolls her eyes. She’s good at that. “Mom, no one says hip anymore.”
“I say hip.”
“So, what do you say?”
“We say cool.”
“I say cool.”
Again with the eye roll. “Yeah, but you don’t say it right.”
Yep, she humbles me. Just what I prayed for. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today I’m gingerly sticking my toes into the online ocean as my website comes up and I start my blog. How do you come up with a topic for a first blog? Well, if you’re like me, you procrastinate and do something else. So I picked up my Sunday school lesson to write the devotion for the teaching team.
And the lesson was on Gideon (Judges 6-7). The coward’s hero.
Gideon cowered in a winepress, the youngest son in a tiny clan. Not exactly great leadership material. Yet the Lord called him to be a mighty warrior. Do you identify with Gideon? I do. When God called me to write, he called me into a task too big for my puny abilities and a role that requires more godliness than I possess.
So why did God pick Gideon? Why does He pick you and me?
First of all, I’m convinced He calls people because of their inadequacies. Only then can His power shine through. The world knows—and we know—that the task was accomplished by the Lord and all glory goes to Him. If His strength is perfected in weakness, then Gideon had the right stuff. And, um, so do I. Weakness? Loads of it.
But Gideon also had an obedient heart. Hesitant, yes, but obedient. Even his hesitancy has the taste of obedience as he wanted to be certain he was hearing from the Lord alone. But then the cowering farmer stepped out in obedience, over and over, tiny step by tiny step.
The Lord called Gideon a mighty warrior, and then He made him one. What is He asking you to do? Will you let Him?
Please join me in this journey. I hope to blog about the writing life, family life, and living in faith and obedience, watching His strength shine in our weakness.