When Allison Flexer asked if I would be interested in reviewing her new book, Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman, I started to decline. After all, I just celebrated twenty-five years of marriage. However, I have an almost-nineteen-year-old daughter, Anna. What if we shared our perspectives, as mother and daughter?
Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman by Allison K. Flexer addresses ten lies single women often believe. These lies can sap the joy from our lives (“Because no one has chosen me, I’m not valuable”), lead us to make bad choices (“It’s too late for me, so I should settle”), and interfere with our relationship with the Lord (“God has forgotten me”). Allison shares her own stories and the stories of others (even men!), and most importantly points to biblical truth.
Allison’s style is relatable and compassionate, open and understandable. The book reads well, has quick bullet-point lists for review, and includes journal pages for personal reflection.
In our modern world, it is easy to get caught up in the myths of our culture. Unfortunately, many of these myths do not shine a favorable light on women. As a woman, culture is constantly bombarding me with thoughts that I have to have a boyfriend to be beautiful, to be valuable, to be loved. Allison Flexer does an amazing job at dispelling these myths, by reminding us who we live for; we live for God, not the world.
Flexer’s book is a great read for all women, not just the single woman. The book outlines and emphasizes the importance of identifying yourself as a follower of God, not as a follower of the deceits of the world. As a follower of God we find the beauty, value and love we all crave. In order for a relationship to be successful, you must know who you find identity in. When we find our identity in God and only then, will we find what we are looking for.
I wish I’d had this book when I was Anna’s age! So many of us women look for men to complete who we are. When we’re single, we’re unhappy, feeling unloved and unworthy. We often make poor choices out of desperation, leading us to bad—even abusive—relationships.
Then once we’re married, we demand that our husbands meet our every need for love and worth and validation. Our poor men. We give them burdens only the Lord can carry.
I agree with Anna that this book—although it’s tailored for the single woman—has truths applicable to any age or marital status. When we see our worth in God’s eyes, then we are free to find joy in either singleness or marriage. When we accept our completion in Christ, we have confidence in living the lives He’s given us. And when we realize He meets all our needs for love, we are free to truly love the people He places in our lives.